Are You Too Nice When You Delegate? How To Be Clear And Effective. (2025)

Delegation is a core management skill. As you advance professionally, it becomes increasingly vital to get work done through others. Effective delegation allows you to grow and to put your energy into higher value, more complex tasks while at the same time providing opportunities for others to develop and contribute.

But delegation can be tricky, especially for someone who is “nice.”

Effective delegation requires setting up the person to whom you are delegating (we’ll call them the recipient) for success. The key to setting them up for success is clarity of expectations. Here’s where being too nice can cause problems. Clarity requires direct communication, which can feel at odds with being nice.

Being direct can feel awkward or bossy, especially for people who are not official “managers,” but whose roles require them to oversee the work of more junior members of a team without the official authority of a managerial relationship. Some may feel bad about burdening another with a task that they could do themselves, especially if they know that the other person is already working hard. Unfortunately this reluctance to ask can lead to delaying the request until they are truly desperate, which winds up creating an unnecessary fire drill for the other person. Others, eager to be liked or avoid seeming harsh, often soften their language, muddying expectations. Compare: “It would be great to have this by Thursday” versus “I need this Thursday.” Both delegators thought that they were setting a deadline, but only one actually was. The other was simply stating a wish.

Delegation is the close cousin of feedback—another area where being nice blur clarity. And if you do delegation right, you will save yourself the trouble of having to give hard feedback at the back end of the assignment. Remember that when you delegate, you remain responsible. The work product will come back to you for integration into a final product, so you need to do your best to help the recipient do their best work. In service of this goal, clear is kind.

Successful delegation starts with identifying the task to be delegated and a suitable recipient of the delegation. You don’t want to assign a super high-stakes deliverable with a tight deadline to a complete novice if you won’t be around to supervise, nor should you micro-manage someone highly experienced in a routine task that they have done before. Being direct is not the same as being directive. Remember that your delegation style needs to match the needs of the recipient. A more seasoned and motivated colleague will need minimal guidance about how to approach the task but still requires clear deadlines and accountability. A more junior or less confident co-worker will need more instruction and support. Empathize with the recipient—what do they need to know?—and be conscious about how you balance autonomy with guidance.

Follow these steps for successful delegation:

1. Define the task. Describe the task, which includes the actions and the deliverable.

• “This project involves reviewing customer data and drafting an executive summary of findings and recommendations for the Chief Marketing Officer.”

2. Explain the purpose. Share relevant context about how it fits into a larger project, its importance, and maybe a few fun facts about the personalities or priorities involved. You might also want to let the recipient know what’s in it for them.

• “Our team is tasked with making recommendations for product improvements and new features. The CMO is very customer-focused so be sure to include a few customer stories. This is a good opportunity for you to familiarize yourself with customer experience and to help with the presentation.”

3. Set deadlines. Set a clear deadline, including explaining any dependencies. You might also set milestones for a bigger project.

• “I need the draft by next Wednesday so that I can make revisions and we can present it on Friday.”

4. Provide guidance. What is the approach, level of rigor/quality, etc. Tailor your guidance to the recipient, taking care to give the appropriate level of autonomy. For a more seasoned colleague, you might ask them how they would approach the task rather than telling them how to approach it.

• “Focus on one or two top recommendations, provide alternatives and offer a data-driven rationale for the recommendation. She is very detail-oriented so make sure that your conclusions are grounded in the data.”

5. Offer resources. What data, templates, people can they call on?

• “You can look at last quarter’s recommendations to see how to structure the document. Jamie from research is a great resource if you need help with analysis.”

6. Schedule check-in. For someone more junior, or someone you know is a late-starter, it is wise to schedule a check-in so that you can course correct, if needed.

• “Let’s check in when you have an outline, no later than Monday.”

7. Confirm understanding and commitment. Confirm their availability, understanding and commitment. As our kids’ preschool director used to say, don’t offer a choice if there is not a choice. At cleanup time don’t say, “Do you want to help Mama clean up?” (most toddlers will likely say, “No.”) Instead, she advised a clear invitation or request. “Let’s clean up together” or “Come help me with this please.”

• “I know you are busy, but this project takes priority. What questions do you have before you get started?” (Note that people will feel more comfortable asking questions if you phrase it this way instead of, “Do you have any questions?” )

Be sure to maintain an encouraging tone and express appreciation. With experience, delegation becomes more natural—and directing the work of others, more effective. You will find that investing up-front in a clear delegation saves you and the recipient time and heartache and results in much more efficient delivery of high quality work.